About Heather S.

I am Heather, hear me roar.

Reflection

Okay, I’ma little under the influence right now, so I’m not going to promise anything or act like things are going to change overnight.

My plan with this, the plan I started in August failed EPICALLY, all because of me. Because I’m a procrastinator, because I get bored easily, because of a lot of things, but it was all because of me. I want to say I’m at least ten pounds heavier than I was when I started. And that’s definitely not where I want to be.

So…like I said, don’t hold me to much that I say when I’m drunk, but I want 2012 to be better. I want to follow through on the things I say I’ll do. I want to feel pretty again. I want to feel like there’s a point to me dressing up on the occasions that I have to do so. I want to feel like my husband’s got something worth coming home to. Because right now? I don’t feel any of those things. I want to be healthy for my son, my kids, and the kids that I might have coming in my future, and right now, I don’t think I am. I danced to one song with an energetic two-year-old and was winded by the end. I didn’t used to be that way. I used to be able to dance for hours.

I want my husband to want to dance with me. I couldn’t get him to tonight, and part of me has to wonder, even if most of me knows that he doesn’t care, if maybe he’d be more into it if I were thinner, prettier.

I’ve never felt like I was good enough…so I want to end 2012 thinking that I am. Thinking that I’m as awesome as everyone tells me I am.

I’ll post again when I’m not so not myself…something more coherant. Til then? Happy new year, kids. Love ya.

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Bad Habits are Hard to Break

I really didn’t think I’d have to be writing this post this soon. I knew it was going to come eventually – I’m a massive procrastinator – but I figured I’d have at least a month or so. Nope.

All I have to lay at the feet of it is that I have really bad habits, that I’ve had for a long, long time. Pushing past them is harder than I thought. I’d figured once I got into the hang of it, it would be easy to keep going…then school started, and people here started getting sick, and…everything else just sort of fell down the cracks.

I will say that I -have- been making a conscious effort to eat better or, at least, not eat as much during meals. Sometimes it’s worked, sometimes it hasn’t. But Crissy and I went grocery shopping the other day, and not only did we make an effort to get good, healthy things – we didn’t break down and buy any junk food, ice cream, or soda. That’s right, my refrigerator is purposely soda free for the first time in…gosh…YEARS. I’ve got a couple of bottles sitting outside the fridge, but they were there before we went shopping, and I’m basically using them as a trick that a friend taught me – have them there, so I know I can have some if I want it, but I know that I don’t HAVE to. It’s not forbidden. It’s not a matter of not having any. It’s just making the conscious choice to have something else instead.

So Brian’s tax refund from his amendment came in finally. We got rent paid with it, put money on a bill or two, bought a new fan for the bathroom, lamp for the living room, and a lamp for Crissy’s room, paid for our marriage retreat in October…and I got Just Dance 2 and EA Sports Active 2. So, as soon as I get my regime started again, those will be added. This is what I think my plan will be:

Sunday: Rest Day
Monday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, EA Sports Active Workout Plan
Tuesday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, Just Dance’s Just Sweat
Wednesday: WiiFit Body Test, Yoga, and Balance Games
Thursday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, EA Sports Active Workout Plan
Friday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, Just Dance’s Just Sweat
Saturday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga

I think one of my biggest problems is finding the time. I don’t have the discipline to get up early in the morning and do it – I know it would be best if I did, because I’d be invigorated for the day and ready to go. As yet, though, I find it hard to get to bed before 1am, and I enjoy sleep. Once I do get up, the kids are minutes away from going to school, and Josh won’t leave me alone for five minutes, let alone the hour I want to devote to a workout. Once the kids get home from school, they have chores and homework – and they take FOREVER doing these things. Oftentimes, they’re still doing them when Brian gets home, which usually isn’t until 7 or 8 in the evening. He gets home, and I don’t want to bother him to watch Josh so I can do my workout when all he wants to do is sit down and relax and watch some TV. You’re not supposed to workout right before bed, because that can mess up your sleep.

Obviously, the best time for me to do it would be sometime early morning, before Josh wakes up, so I can have ‘me’ time without being bothered by everyone else. But…God, I’m not a morning person. At all.

I suppose, though…doing this -has- to be about self-discipline. So I have to find it somewhere.

Just a Little Something

Alright, so I’ve been a REALLY bad llama. I’ve been telling myself that skipping one day won’t hurt, so long as it doesn’t turn into a habit. And I do have a reason! The last two days have been very busy with getting the kids ready for school, and today was their first day back. On top of that, I have seriously felt like C R A P the last two days.

Structured exercise was pretty much a no-go, but I didn’t not do anything. Like that double negative there? I did. I helped at the back-to-school rally, manning the PTO table, which pretty much involved standing and talking to people for two hours. Anyone that says calories aren’t burned just by standing when you’d rather be sitting can suck it. Really. Today had looked like I wouldn’t get much of anything done – like I said, I felt really bad, and didn’t feel like moving from the floor, let alone exercising. But! The copy of Just Dance 2 that Crissy rented from Blockbuster came in the mail today, so we went to Ron and Erin’s, and Erin and I tried it out. Let me tell you –  we were just on the regular mode, and I was sweating my butt off. There’s a setting on there called ‘Just Sweat’ that’s supposed to be aimed at burning calories, so I might try that tomorrow after doing my body test and some yoga on the WiiFit. My check-in that was supposed to be today will be done tomorrow.

Wootness.

Bad Llama

So I was bad today. I didn’t work out. I didn’t really eat badly, but I had two helpings of dinner, which I probably shouldn’t have. My excuse? Josh was being fussy enough pretty much all day that it sucked all my energy. It’s true.

In other news…we went to our doctor appointments today, and for me, it’s official. According to some stuff that I’ve read, we should wait 60 to 90 days before actively beginning trying to conceive, so we’re looking at the beginning of November, depending on how I’m feeling, so that we can work on preparing my body for pregnancy.

So, since I was bad, and didn’t do anything really productive, this is going to be an extremely short post. I’ve been bad, bad llama. *slaps self*

Get on me!

Day of Rest

This should be a relatively short post, since nothing much happened. Brian had a headache, which kept us from going to church, since he needed to get rid of it before we had to run the kids out to St. Clairsville to meet up with their PA grandparents so they could go there for a couple of days before starting school. We had a nice, quiet morning, and then headed to St. C. Spent a while getting their school supplies, as well as some other stuff we needed.

They had the EA Sports Trainer 2 set at Wal-Mart for $25, which I figured wasn’t a bad price…but we couldn’t really afford it, with all the other stuff we were having to get. Brian was pretty set on getting it for me, but I figured…I’m still working on getting my energy levels up, like my friend Meghan commented a few days ago that the WiiFit is good for. So, I’ll keep working on that, and once I feel ready, we’ll go and get the EA set.

We did a lot of walking around the store, but other than that, I’ve kept it pretty easy. I know you’re supposed to have at least one day of rest in a typical week, so I think Sundays will fit that fine – after all, that’s what they’re supposed to be.

Tomorrow, Crissy and I go back to the doctor, her for an initial check-up, and me to get my IUD removed. So far, the plan is to wait a month or so, see if having the birth control gone helps to remove at least some of the weight, and keep preparing my body for babyness. Tuesday is the back-to-school rally and open house, where I’ll go and meet the kids’ teachers for the year. Then Wednesday…it’s back to school! Yay!

Nothing Strenuous

Today was a relatively quiet, uneventful day. As far as my goals, that is. We walked down to the street fair again, to go to the car show and let the kids on some of the rides. It was super hot, and the bees were out en force, but it wasn’t too bad. After walking around down around the cars, among which this one –

(my favorite!) – was present, we went back up to the street. I got the funnel cake that I promised myself, along with a coke, and we settled down to eat…but ended up having to walk back to the van to eat our goodies (Brian’s elephant ear, the kids’ funnel cake) because the bees were insistent upon sharing our goodies…and we were feeling quite selfish and, you know, unwilling to get stung. Eventually, we headed back to the street and took the kids around to get on some of the rides. We had been about to head home when, while I was selecting my stuffed animal for throwing a ball (which was clocked at 28 mph! go me!), Crissy showed up! She’d been sleeping when we left. After selecting my animal –  we walked around some more, including back down to the car show briefly and then up to the nearby covered bridge so I could take some pictures – of which I did get some nice ones, the kids getting on another ride, and letting Crissy see what sort of fatty goodness she wanted to get. Then, it was time to go and see if the blood donation bus was open. It hadn’t been when I walked down a couple hours earlier, but it was then. After filling out the paperwork, they got me up, stuck my finger (iron was at 14.4, which is good, because I have a history of being slightly anemic, which keeps me from donating sometimes), and then got me set up.

That’s where it got -fun-. I normally donate from my right arm. Now, I’m saying normally, but I haven’t actually had a successful donation since I was about 21 years old. Either way, I’d never had a problem with it before. This time, though, they had trouble finding a vein, then, once they did stick me, the blood was very slow coming out, and then just…stopped. After trying for several minutes, they decided to try my other arm, which I was, of course, all for. I’m O-negative, and I’m a staunch supporter of donating if you’re able, especially now that I’m close with someone who has benefitted from a blood transfusion before. So they got my left arm all prepped, and…good to go! Good flow, all that jazz.

 I got my juice and cookies…and shortly thereafter, I got some fish (>.> what can I say, it’s good!), and we headed home. I was instructed not to do anything strenuous for the rest of the night, and to take in lots of fluids over the next 24 hours…so no workout today, but I don’t feel too bad, since we did do a lot of walking, and I may at least go and do a little yoga, just to keep in the habit of doing something every day. All in all…good day! I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Down on the Street

I almost didn’t do a post today. It’s not so much that I’ve been really busy, but…well, I just wasn’t quite in the mood to sit and type…but I figure it’s important to.

I did do my workout today! I had debated it, because I knew we’d be walking down to the street fair this evening, but…I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t. So today, I played around with the feature on the WiiFit where you can customize your own routine. I hadn’t really been interested in doing this before, because it only lets you pull from the Yoga and Strength Training exercises. I really like the Aerobics and Balance Games, they’re fun and don’t make me feel like I’m exercising all the time. But, I figured I’d break it up – do half an hour of the yoga and strength training, to get me good and stretched out, and half an hour of the pre-set routines that have a mix of those two, and aerobics and balance games. I made up a routine of 17 exercises, half yoga and half strength training, totaling 31 minutes. It wasn’t too bad, and it doesn’t rate you afterward, which is nice…just lets you get on with your workout. After that, since I wasn’t really winded or sore yet, I did the Overindulged, Mind and Body, and Figure preset routines. Total calories burned were 274. Something tells me I’m not burning near enough, but I’m getting my body used to all this. I know it’s going to take some time.

Around 5:30, we went down to the street fair for the parade. I have to say, I didn’t eat all that great today, but I haven’t overeaten. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, then a sausage-eggs-and-cheese breakfast bowl for lunch…and, here’s where it gets bad. The Volunteer Fire Department does a fish fry for their booth, with this absolutely great beer-battered fish and french fries…and, since it’s only here once a year, I have to get it. So I had a ‘fish boat’, which is about 4 pieces of good-sized fish, and a small boat of fries, as well as a lemon shake (basically lemonade, shaken up with ice), and some pieces of the kids’ cotton candy. I feel bad about it, even though I know I did a lot worse last year. Tomorrow, we’ll be going down again for the car show, to let the kids ride some rides, and I’ll be giving blood, since they have a donor van down there. I haven’t given blood in several years, because my iron count is always low. Hopefully, that won’t be the case tomorrow. I have O-negative blood…the Red Cross loves me.

I’m going to try to restrict myself to a lemon shake, and maybe a funnel cake tomorrow. I know the funnel cake is a heart attack waiting to happen – but it’s once a year, and I’ll make sure I pay for it later!

Did I mention we walked back home? And, like I’ve said…anyone who has seen our hill will understand what a feat that is. And I didn’t even need to be pushed up! Yay for me.