Bad Habits are Hard to Break

I really didn’t think I’d have to be writing this post this soon. I knew it was going to come eventually – I’m a massive procrastinator – but I figured I’d have at least a month or so. Nope.

All I have to lay at the feet of it is that I have really bad habits, that I’ve had for a long, long time. Pushing past them is harder than I thought. I’d figured once I got into the hang of it, it would be easy to keep going…then school started, and people here started getting sick, and…everything else just sort of fell down the cracks.

I will say that I -have- been making a conscious effort to eat better or, at least, not eat as much during meals. Sometimes it’s worked, sometimes it hasn’t. But Crissy and I went grocery shopping the other day, and not only did we make an effort to get good, healthy things – we didn’t break down and buy any junk food, ice cream, or soda. That’s right, my refrigerator is purposely soda free for the first time in…gosh…YEARS. I’ve got a couple of bottles sitting outside the fridge, but they were there before we went shopping, and I’m basically using them as a trick that a friend taught me – have them there, so I know I can have some if I want it, but I know that I don’t HAVE to. It’s not forbidden. It’s not a matter of not having any. It’s just making the conscious choice to have something else instead.

So Brian’s tax refund from his amendment came in finally. We got rent paid with it, put money on a bill or two, bought a new fan for the bathroom, lamp for the living room, and a lamp for Crissy’s room, paid for our marriage retreat in October…and I got Just Dance 2 and EA Sports Active 2. So, as soon as I get my regime started again, those will be added. This is what I think my plan will be:

Sunday: Rest Day
Monday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, EA Sports Active Workout Plan
Tuesday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, Just Dance’s Just Sweat
Wednesday: WiiFit Body Test, Yoga, and Balance Games
Thursday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, EA Sports Active Workout Plan
Friday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, Just Dance’s Just Sweat
Saturday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga

I think one of my biggest problems is finding the time. I don’t have the discipline to get up early in the morning and do it – I know it would be best if I did, because I’d be invigorated for the day and ready to go. As yet, though, I find it hard to get to bed before 1am, and I enjoy sleep. Once I do get up, the kids are minutes away from going to school, and Josh won’t leave me alone for five minutes, let alone the hour I want to devote to a workout. Once the kids get home from school, they have chores and homework – and they take FOREVER doing these things. Oftentimes, they’re still doing them when Brian gets home, which usually isn’t until 7 or 8 in the evening. He gets home, and I don’t want to bother him to watch Josh so I can do my workout when all he wants to do is sit down and relax and watch some TV. You’re not supposed to workout right before bed, because that can mess up your sleep.

Obviously, the best time for me to do it would be sometime early morning, before Josh wakes up, so I can have ‘me’ time without being bothered by everyone else. But…God, I’m not a morning person. At all.

I suppose, though…doing this -has- to be about self-discipline. So I have to find it somewhere.

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The Initial Goal

I say initial because, you never know, it could change

So I just did my WiiFit workout. A full hour (and two minutes!) of a mix of yoga, aerobics, strength training, and balance work. According to my counter, it says I burned 302 calories. I don’t really know if that’s a lot…but it’s a start, right?

Before every WiiFit workout, they have you do a body test. I always do the long ones, that include a couple of balance and memory games at the end. I’m thinking something must be weird with my balance board, because according to it, I gained 5.5 pounds between yesterday and today, and over a full 1% of BMI. I might get a board to put under it, or something, when I use it, because I’ve heard that carpet can make a difference, even with the little extenders on it.

Alright – the stats. According to WiiFit, my BMI today was 37.97, with my weight being 214.3 lbs. I set a new goal on there today to bring my BMI down to 35.98, which would be a loss of about 11 lbs., and I set it for two months. I know these things have to go slow, and that a weight loss of more than 10 pounds in two months just isn’t feasible or healthy (if you do manage it). So, by October 18, I should be down to 204 (which is what I was a month ago -__- if I’d’ve stuck with my plan then, I’d be under 200 by now. But, no use crying over spilled milk, right?).

In plain, visible, non-paragraph terms:

August 18, 2011
BMI:
37.97
Weight: 214.3

Goal: October 18, 2011
BMI:
35.98
Weight: 203
Loss per Week should be about 2.6 lbs.

I’ll do a check-in on here at least every Wednesday. Notable losses or gains will be posted immediately. Corresponding pictures will be posted with the weekly check-ins.

So…does this make it official? Sure!

What are some daily, weekly, monthly goals that you lot have?

A Noted Absence

No, not an absence of mine. But something I noticed that was lacking here.

My first few posts have just been, basically, a journal. I could do that easily enough with a diary, if that was the only thing that mattered. It’s been nice to get comments, but…there’s nothing to really hold any sort of accountability for me.

So what do I need? I need a goal. I need something to count down to. I need incentives. I need motivation, visible, tangible motivation that will help shove me along my way.

Now, here’s my problem. I’ve had motivation and incentives before, but they never seemed to work. I’ve readily acknowledged to myself that I don’t do well by myself. I don’t like thinking too much – not that I don’t like thinking in general, I mean that I tend to -think- too much, overthink things, make myself paranoid and jump to conclusions that wouldn’t have even been possible before. I do this when I’m alone, so…I hate being alone. When I was in the Army – have I mentioned that? I was…I was an intelligence analyst for 6 years, loved my job, hated the people in the Army, and now I can’t use any of my @&#$ skills in the outside world because I don’t have a college degree, but I digress – I had plenty of incentive to exercise more, to lose weight – you can’t get promoted or go to schools without being able to pass your PT test and have the appropriate weight – and yet, I never seemed to be able to push myself to do anything. Half the problem was that I didn’t have anyone to do it with that could do it right. I couldn’t work out with my then-fiance, because he was a freaking PT guru, and couldn’t work himself down at the level that I needed to be at. My sergeants were pains, trying to use trauma and whatnot to push me, when all it did was depress me. I couldn’t really count on any of my friends to help. So…there I was, alone.

I’m not really alone now. I’ve got Crissy here, and she knows what she wants to do, both to lose weight and help her health out. I’ve got Brian who will motivate me the right way, even if he might not actually do my exercise stuff with me…he’ll still support whatever I want to do. I’ve got friends all over battling the same issues, with either similar or different desires for the endgame, who will push me where needed. Lastly, I’ve got this accountability thing. Somewhere that I can see it, all in black and white, and feel good when I’ve worked toward it, and ashamed when I haven’t.

So I think my plan from here on out is to post here at least twice a day – once in the beginning of the day, about hopes and fears and dreams and wants and secrets. Maybe I’ll eventually find something that I can post every day – like some sort of quoting thing, or survey, meme…something, anything. Writer’s block exercises. Stuff that I’ve tried that I like. Stuff I don’t like. Something. Then, the second will come at the end of the day, after I have (as I should) done my workout, and the day is nearing its close. My WiiFit has me do a body test every day…so I may post what comes from that every day. If that gets a little too depressing, I’ll change it to weekly.

So – this post doesn’t have my actual goal…just my recognition of a need for a one. All in good time, my pretties.