Bad Habits are Hard to Break

I really didn’t think I’d have to be writing this post this soon. I knew it was going to come eventually – I’m a massive procrastinator – but I figured I’d have at least a month or so. Nope.

All I have to lay at the feet of it is that I have really bad habits, that I’ve had for a long, long time. Pushing past them is harder than I thought. I’d figured once I got into the hang of it, it would be easy to keep going…then school started, and people here started getting sick, and…everything else just sort of fell down the cracks.

I will say that I -have- been making a conscious effort to eat better or, at least, not eat as much during meals. Sometimes it’s worked, sometimes it hasn’t. But Crissy and I went grocery shopping the other day, and not only did we make an effort to get good, healthy things – we didn’t break down and buy any junk food, ice cream, or soda. That’s right, my refrigerator is purposely soda free for the first time in…gosh…YEARS. I’ve got a couple of bottles sitting outside the fridge, but they were there before we went shopping, and I’m basically using them as a trick that a friend taught me – have them there, so I know I can have some if I want it, but I know that I don’t HAVE to. It’s not forbidden. It’s not a matter of not having any. It’s just making the conscious choice to have something else instead.

So Brian’s tax refund from his amendment came in finally. We got rent paid with it, put money on a bill or two, bought a new fan for the bathroom, lamp for the living room, and a lamp for Crissy’s room, paid for our marriage retreat in October…and I got Just Dance 2 and EA Sports Active 2. So, as soon as I get my regime started again, those will be added. This is what I think my plan will be:

Sunday: Rest Day
Monday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, EA Sports Active Workout Plan
Tuesday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, Just Dance’s Just Sweat
Wednesday: WiiFit Body Test, Yoga, and Balance Games
Thursday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, EA Sports Active Workout Plan
Friday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga, Just Dance’s Just Sweat
Saturday: WiiFit Body Test and Yoga

I think one of my biggest problems is finding the time. I don’t have the discipline to get up early in the morning and do it – I know it would be best if I did, because I’d be invigorated for the day and ready to go. As yet, though, I find it hard to get to bed before 1am, and I enjoy sleep. Once I do get up, the kids are minutes away from going to school, and Josh won’t leave me alone for five minutes, let alone the hour I want to devote to a workout. Once the kids get home from school, they have chores and homework – and they take FOREVER doing these things. Oftentimes, they’re still doing them when Brian gets home, which usually isn’t until 7 or 8 in the evening. He gets home, and I don’t want to bother him to watch Josh so I can do my workout when all he wants to do is sit down and relax and watch some TV. You’re not supposed to workout right before bed, because that can mess up your sleep.

Obviously, the best time for me to do it would be sometime early morning, before Josh wakes up, so I can have ‘me’ time without being bothered by everyone else. But…God, I’m not a morning person. At all.

I suppose, though…doing this -has- to be about self-discipline. So I have to find it somewhere.

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Down on the Street

I almost didn’t do a post today. It’s not so much that I’ve been really busy, but…well, I just wasn’t quite in the mood to sit and type…but I figure it’s important to.

I did do my workout today! I had debated it, because I knew we’d be walking down to the street fair this evening, but…I didn’t see any reason why I shouldn’t. So today, I played around with the feature on the WiiFit where you can customize your own routine. I hadn’t really been interested in doing this before, because it only lets you pull from the Yoga and Strength Training exercises. I really like the Aerobics and Balance Games, they’re fun and don’t make me feel like I’m exercising all the time. But, I figured I’d break it up – do half an hour of the yoga and strength training, to get me good and stretched out, and half an hour of the pre-set routines that have a mix of those two, and aerobics and balance games. I made up a routine of 17 exercises, half yoga and half strength training, totaling 31 minutes. It wasn’t too bad, and it doesn’t rate you afterward, which is nice…just lets you get on with your workout. After that, since I wasn’t really winded or sore yet, I did the Overindulged, Mind and Body, and Figure preset routines. Total calories burned were 274. Something tells me I’m not burning near enough, but I’m getting my body used to all this. I know it’s going to take some time.

Around 5:30, we went down to the street fair for the parade. I have to say, I didn’t eat all that great today, but I haven’t overeaten. I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, then a sausage-eggs-and-cheese breakfast bowl for lunch…and, here’s where it gets bad. The Volunteer Fire Department does a fish fry for their booth, with this absolutely great beer-battered fish and french fries…and, since it’s only here once a year, I have to get it. So I had a ‘fish boat’, which is about 4 pieces of good-sized fish, and a small boat of fries, as well as a lemon shake (basically lemonade, shaken up with ice), and some pieces of the kids’ cotton candy. I feel bad about it, even though I know I did a lot worse last year. Tomorrow, we’ll be going down again for the car show, to let the kids ride some rides, and I’ll be giving blood, since they have a donor van down there. I haven’t given blood in several years, because my iron count is always low. Hopefully, that won’t be the case tomorrow. I have O-negative blood…the Red Cross loves me.

I’m going to try to restrict myself to a lemon shake, and maybe a funnel cake tomorrow. I know the funnel cake is a heart attack waiting to happen – but it’s once a year, and I’ll make sure I pay for it later!

Did I mention we walked back home? And, like I’ve said…anyone who has seen our hill will understand what a feat that is. And I didn’t even need to be pushed up! Yay for me.

Adding to the Repertoire

After some recommendations by others, I’ve been looking at some more stuff to add – exercise-wise – to what I’m already doing with the WiiFit. Pretty much everything I’m looking at is meant to go with the Wii.

Some might ask – why are you looking to video games to lose weight? Why not go out and run, or go to a gym, or just do exercises on your own? Well…those are all legitimate questions. The first two options pretty much have the same answer: I’m self-conscious. I’m well aware of every-single-bit-of-my-body that wiggles and jiggles with every move I make, and I’d just as soon not go out in front of all the midriff-baring, perky-ponytail-bouncing, thin-as-rails girls and shirtless, six-pack-wearing, muscle-bound boys and show off my jello self. No, I do not think that it should serve as a punishment for letting myself get this way. All it’s going to do is depress me and make me lose hope. The second has another answer: I can’t afford it. I was not aware of the fact the gyms operate with freaking contracts that you can’t get out of – I could have swore that you could just cancel your membership. Well, not the gym I signed up with. When it came to realizing that we just couldn’t afford the membership, I tried canceling it, and then got told that we couldn’t. Great. Another hit on my already lousy credit. So that’s not an option. The last? I won’t. That’s the long and short of it. I’ll forget, I’ll be too convinced that I look silly, I’ll figure out better things to do. It just won’t happen.

So – I like playing video games. Why not combine that with something that can actually help me?

So…now that I’ve gotten long-winded with a post that really shouldn’t have been…here are the things I’ve been looking at:

EA Sports Active: My friend Meghan commented earlier that she’d gotten this after getting used to the WiiFit and that it’s been working wonders for her husband. I looked it up on Amazon – apparently, it was developed by Bob Greene, who is also Oprah’s personal trainer. I’m not an Oprahphile by any means, but I’ve heard good things about him. The reviews on Amazon all seem pretty positive – one person said, “It is like Gold’s Gym, the Wii Fit, and My Fitness Coach all rolled into one.” I haven’t looked at the others besides WiiFit, but, well…that seems pretty nifty to me. This also has things like resistance bands, and a leg strap where you can put your remote…which I can only imagine comes in handy, my remote gets in the way ALL the time. I didn’t really look at ‘More Exercises’ or EA Sports Active 2, I figure if I do go that route, I’ll see how I like the first one before considering the add-ons and updates.

Just Dance: My sister first told me about this a couple of months ago. Then, when I went to the doctor with Crissy and Josh yesterday, the nurse was talking to us about it too. My sister told me that just playing with her daughters helped her lose weight without even trying, and the nurse said that she dropped 12 lbs in no time flat. I like the idea of doing aerobics without actually feeling like you’re doing aerobics. I’ve looked at the song listings on Amazon, and there’s a good mix of new and classic on the 2 editions, plus the Summer Party, that are out – of course, I doubt I’d get both at once, I’d probably wait until I get burnt out on whichever one I get first. Again, the reviews on Amazon were pretty fantastic – I’m especially intrigued by this part: “The second thing that impressed me was that this game features actual dance moves to the songs. In other words, not only are you playing the game, you’re learning actual dance steps. You’ll learn the ‘Mashed Potato’ that was all the rage in the 1960’s to Dee Dee Sharp’s ‘Mashed Potato Time’. You’ll learn the best disco moves of the 70’s with songs like ‘That’s the Way I Like It’. And my personal dream come true–you can dance like MC Hammer with ‘U Can’t Touch This’.” Apparently, the first edition has ‘Cotton-Eyed Joe’, one of my favorite two-step songs…so that might be a possibility.

Zumba Fitness: I went to a Zumba class in February, and it was pretty fun…but, like I said earlier, I’m rather self-conscious. I didn’t have any problems with the moves – honey, please, I’m from San Diego, you’re practically required to know how to move your hips – but I was very aware of the thinner, more attractive females in the room, which made me clam up a little. I know some people who have gotten this game for the Wii, and they love it – and I do know it’ll give you a workout, if the moves are at all the same as the ones we did in class, which I can only imagine they would be. Once again, the Amazon reviews are all good. One snippet that made me blink was this: “Within 30 minutes I had burned nearly 400 calories.” HOLY COW! I didn’t even do that in one hour today on the WiiFit. Definitely up there.

Do you have any fitness ‘assistants’ that you swear by? I’m open to recommendations!

A Noted Absence

No, not an absence of mine. But something I noticed that was lacking here.

My first few posts have just been, basically, a journal. I could do that easily enough with a diary, if that was the only thing that mattered. It’s been nice to get comments, but…there’s nothing to really hold any sort of accountability for me.

So what do I need? I need a goal. I need something to count down to. I need incentives. I need motivation, visible, tangible motivation that will help shove me along my way.

Now, here’s my problem. I’ve had motivation and incentives before, but they never seemed to work. I’ve readily acknowledged to myself that I don’t do well by myself. I don’t like thinking too much – not that I don’t like thinking in general, I mean that I tend to -think- too much, overthink things, make myself paranoid and jump to conclusions that wouldn’t have even been possible before. I do this when I’m alone, so…I hate being alone. When I was in the Army – have I mentioned that? I was…I was an intelligence analyst for 6 years, loved my job, hated the people in the Army, and now I can’t use any of my @&#$ skills in the outside world because I don’t have a college degree, but I digress – I had plenty of incentive to exercise more, to lose weight – you can’t get promoted or go to schools without being able to pass your PT test and have the appropriate weight – and yet, I never seemed to be able to push myself to do anything. Half the problem was that I didn’t have anyone to do it with that could do it right. I couldn’t work out with my then-fiance, because he was a freaking PT guru, and couldn’t work himself down at the level that I needed to be at. My sergeants were pains, trying to use trauma and whatnot to push me, when all it did was depress me. I couldn’t really count on any of my friends to help. So…there I was, alone.

I’m not really alone now. I’ve got Crissy here, and she knows what she wants to do, both to lose weight and help her health out. I’ve got Brian who will motivate me the right way, even if he might not actually do my exercise stuff with me…he’ll still support whatever I want to do. I’ve got friends all over battling the same issues, with either similar or different desires for the endgame, who will push me where needed. Lastly, I’ve got this accountability thing. Somewhere that I can see it, all in black and white, and feel good when I’ve worked toward it, and ashamed when I haven’t.

So I think my plan from here on out is to post here at least twice a day – once in the beginning of the day, about hopes and fears and dreams and wants and secrets. Maybe I’ll eventually find something that I can post every day – like some sort of quoting thing, or survey, meme…something, anything. Writer’s block exercises. Stuff that I’ve tried that I like. Stuff I don’t like. Something. Then, the second will come at the end of the day, after I have (as I should) done my workout, and the day is nearing its close. My WiiFit has me do a body test every day…so I may post what comes from that every day. If that gets a little too depressing, I’ll change it to weekly.

So – this post doesn’t have my actual goal…just my recognition of a need for a one. All in good time, my pretties.

Beautiful, beautiful

Eventful day today. Took the kids down for the last day of Wacky Wednesday (they go school next week! I can’t wait!), and since they had a lot of help down there, I figured I’d let them run around without having to worry about me at their shoulder and have fun. So I got Josh bathed, all that jazz…then once I went to pick them up and walk them down to Ron and Erin’s, Crissy, Josh and I were off to the doc’s.

So this was a new doctor – basically sort of a test-run to see if we’d want her to be our family doctor. She was really nice – very attentive, kind, and detailed, which I like to see. Poor Josh, though, is traumatized. We got his shots done last week, and pretty much…now I think he has a fear of people in scrubs. Or something. All I know is he wouldn’t let the poor nurse touch him, screamed the entire time we were getting his height and weight done – and that was all we were doing! – and clung to me like I was his lifeline. My poor little tot.

As far as my checkup – well, I’m overweight, but we knew that already. But my blood pressure was normal (which had been a little worry for me, after being induced for hypertension with Josh). We did, however, talk about my sinus issues. She checked my ears, nose, and throat, acknowledging, like all doctors, how GINORMOUS my tonsils are. She said that my nose was tight and swollen, and that it was obvious that I was stuffed up, by my voice. So she prescribed me this steroid nasal spray which, she says should help me once winter comes along and tries to make me miserable. I have hope!

She also prescribed me prenatals to start taking, and I’m officially getting my IUD out on Monday. She didn’t have the right equipment there today – which is fine, I know she’s setting up a new office and is getting a lot of stuff moved in and done. Crissy’s going in on the same day to have a well-check done, as well as get the doctor set up as her own so that she can get her prescriptions refilled when necessary.

We went grocery shopping after that, picked up some more dietary stuff for us as well as something for dinner. Got my prescriptions filled, headed home, and settled down for a little bit, doing my facebook games, a little talking, all that jazz. Then, I decided – it was time. Got the WiiFit out, had Ian and Caitlyn handle Josh, and decided on the routines I was going to do. The doctor recommended, both for my weight and for baby-prep, I do half an hour a day. The longest pre-set routines that I can put together at any one time are approximately 21 minutes, so I did one of the three-at-a-time, then one, and then I ended with the Warrior pose to stretch out and cool down after. My routines were, first, the Health set, which are titled Tummy, Overindulged, and Leaner You…I think. Then I did the Mind and Body routine out of the Lifestyle section (I think). Total time? 35 minutes. Not bad, eh?

So I actually feel rather good right now. Crissy had dinner ready literally as soon as I finished my Warrior pose, and it was rather nummy – alfredo pasta with chicken, and garlic bread.

The Scio Fall Festival started tonight…I don’t know if we’re going to go down, but I think we might tomorrow. If we do, and we walk…the WiiFit probably won’t happen. Anyone who’s seen our hill will understand why.

So, This is Me

Image

The title says it all.

This is me.

Heather Elizabeth Stromski, née Williams, aged 28 years, 5 days. I’m not even sure if I accented that properly, but I can’t be bothered to look it up and check.

I am the wife of Brian, stepmother to Ian and Caitlyn, and mother to Joshua…and seeking to be mother to another little bit within the next year or so.

Prior to my pregnancy with my son, I weighed 145, or around there, and was pretty happy with the way I looked. Then I allowed the idea that I was pregnant to mean that I didn’t have to watch what I ate, or move around more than necessary, and I billowed out. Even after I gave birth, I still didn’t weigh over 200 pounds, but now I do. My husband says at least some of it is the fault of my birth control, but I know it’s not all of that, and I know I have to accept the blame for most of it. So I am, and now, I’m ready to take charge.

So, the intent is to start out doing at least 20 minutes a day of exercise on the WiiFit, and my roommate and I are going to work at structuring a good diet for the two of us.

I did my WiiFit workout today, using the ‘Combine’ function and selecting the Form routines of Hips, Arms, and Figure. It involved several yoga positions, a couple of rhythmic aerobic and balance routines, and a decent bit of sweat on my part. I’ve discovered that burp rags (which we stopped having to use for Josh a few months ago) can definitely be ret-conned into sweat rags.

Tomorrow, I go to a doctor that may become our new family doctor. There, I will get my birth control removed, and Brian and I will start working on another chapter of our lives. Won’t that be interesting. >.>